Real death.

So my next door neighbors have lived next to me since i was a baby. Don and Inez are two of the nicest people ever. i used to play with their grandson Tyler when we were little and was fortunate enough to go to high school with him and get to know him as an adult. He's a cool guy. i was coming home tonight after hanging out with a close friend of mine when i saw a fire truck coming down my street. So of course a sense of panic floods me as i follow it down the labyrinth that is my neighborhood. By the time i turn onto my own personal street i am flying at 50 mph following this fire truck, and now ambulance knowing that someone *cough, fatman, cough* has broken into my home and shot my father. i pull up and see them parked in front of my drive way. My heart rate is at an all time high when i pull my gear into "P". i sit in my truck staring off into space, crying. Panicked. Completely panicked. i see the EMTs come out of their vehicles and run a stretcher into my neighbors house. The strange thing? i wasn't relieved. A new sense of panic flooded my body. Is Don okay? Is Inez alright? i have to find out. i jog into my house and grab a make up wipe to rid my face of it's Urban Decay make up and peek out my window for at least ten minutes...both wiping the make up off and crying the make up off. i have known these people for nearly all of my life. i care about them. i didn't know this until now. i won't go into the details about what happened next. i don't feel as though it is any of my business to tell. But i really want to go and knock on the door to see if they need anyone to help them. i don't really know if this is appropriate, or warranted for that matter. But i have been crying for a while and feel like shit. Because i want to be there for the people that i care for, even if i only just now realized that. i hate the concept of death, simply in that it makes people realize things all too late most of the time. We never expect it to impact us. We all have this Superman concept, that we are invincible... and then of course it hits you like a kick to the side, knocking the wind out of you. Never to be seen, or expected. What a shitty thing.








Seriously, what shitty thing.








It really forces you to put things into perspective. That your problems, really aren't that big of a deal...to just get over shit. That there are larger things happening in this world.


Sometimes right next door.