vodka, bud/coors light, more vodka, some red bull, vodka, carrying jenelle's passed out body around casinos, cosmopolitans *which contain lotsa vodka*, an Australian triathlete, peeing with the door open, a rum and coke for good measure, a lap dance from the hottest chick ever, peeing my pants from laughing, being a nice lady, kamikaze shots from W.C., Mustafa fondling Jenelle, green olives, free beer, launching Jenelle's limp body onto the tram, Audra getting hit on by a guy with *THE* largest nose i have ever seen in my life, buckets of Corona, Jenelle hitting her head on things about 7.8 times, shots of rum straight outta the bottle to get rid of the hangover, millions of cowboy hats, taking antibiotics with a beer, dancing on a dancefloor while it's raining glass, getting two rude ass cowboys escorted out of the casino, a couple of vodka crans *so the cran could hydrate me*, stumbling down the hallways with audra arguing over who was the nicer lady, Jenelle cockblocking and Zoltar predicting it!..and messages from Mustafa to a passed out Jenelle -
Seee...i told you Zoltar predicted the cockblock of the century - -
As we were checking out of out hotel i was going up an escalator and was reminded of a memory from about four years ago.
So this story is set back when i was involved with the San Jose Raiders World guard. During my rookie year i was at one of the infamous Raider parties that i had been hearing about since i was 15. Of course i had always heard about the craziness that went on at those things, for the longest time i assumed that they were all highly exaggerated..But as time passed on and stories would be told to me by the Vets i quickly got into the know that these fuckers knew how to party. Awesome. i was young and totally wanted to prove myself. i had a young liver and a passion for tequila at the time. So at my first Raider party i bought a bottle of tequila *Jose Cuervo Gold to be exact*. It was probably somewhere around 1 a.m. and i was sitting in a circle with the gorgeous women that i aspired to be like for the past five years and was in complete awe that i was befriending my idols. i absentmindedly took swigs straight out of my bottle with no chaser as i chatted along with the conversations. After about twenty minutes of this one of the most outspoken women i have ever come to know squawked at me "Okay! i can't watch you do that anymore..My gag reflex is in high fucking gear right now." Confused and butthurt i furrowed my eyebrows and figured i had been doing something completely disgusing in my drunken stupor and hadn't realized it. Seeing that i was completely oblivious to what was grossing her out she apologetically gestured toward the bottle of tequila in my hand. "Sorry Colin, it's just that in my old age i cannot even fathom drinking tequila like that anymore.." i raised an eyebrow and was barely capable of stammering out "--but.....you're only 23.." She and her friends threw their heads back and giggled, she patted my on my poofy, untamed curly head and simply said with a smile "you'll understand when you're my age".
As i was standing on the escalator, feeling like a steaming pile of shit...complete with the "wong, wong, wong" noise pounding in my head, the hot and cold sweats, the dizziness, the nausea, the sore -everything- the only thought that kept popping into my now 23 year old brain was "i am getting too fucking old for this.." i Now completely understand where she was coming from, and for the record...i can't touch tequila anymore unless it is heavily covered up with triple sec, sweet and sour, salt, and hella limes.
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