fuckin' your world up.

So when i was like 10 i had an infatuation with reading "Goosebumps" books, like any other normal kid that age in the nineties. My particular favorites of his were the ones where you got to pick whether or not you wanted to go through door #1 (page 64) or through door # 2 (page 21). You of course make the logical decision. Weighing the pros and cons or each door and what they have to offer.

"Well, this one is glowing green...kind of ominous...the other one is making a strange buzzing noise....god know what that buzzing could be...but glowing green lights!!!! No way man!"

Clearly you go with door #2, the one that's buzzing...only to be attacked by a swarm of giant hornets!! You of course die and have to start all over again. Dammit.

The point of all this blabber is because i recently met someone who looked like a creature i couldn't quite place. All too familiar and scary all at once, made me quite uncomfortable to say the least. Try as i might, i couldn't place what creature this person so closely resembled. Until today.

A Komodo Dragon.

Buh! i have a very distinct fear of the illusive Komodo Dragon, a foul beast who can grow up to eight feet long, can eat humans, and hails from the island of Komodo in Indonesia. They are fucking terrifying to even look at.

Don't know what they and/or don't believe me? Check out this brief clip. Here's a note: make sure your speakers are turned on. The music quite makes the clip all that much more menacing.

See what i mean? These fuckers are terrible. TERRIBLE!

i'm sure you're wondering as to how i became so scared of a creature that lives across the world. Well my friend, R.L. Stine taught me what a Komodo fucking Dragon was. i read one of his "Give Yourself Goosebumps" novels *yes, R.L. Stine writes fucking NOVELS* i believe it was the one called "Escape from the Carnival of Horrors". In this novel he had the option of going through some room and you end up in some kind of desert looking cage and see nothing. You hear nothing. You think "sweet, i'm safe" until you feel eyes upon you. Then a very large lizard things comes tearing ass from out of nowhere, you run...but not fast enough. you are eaten by a Komodo Dragon, and it's all your fault for choosing to go to page 44.

Fuck you Komodo Dragons. i will hunt you, until there are none left.

by far 1:15 is the best.

for the 14 year old boy in us all...

Indiana better work it out..

Hillary won in Pennsylvania today...with some comfy margins. Thank god. i was reading up about it via Yahoo News...this particularly tickled my fancy.

"She showed her blue-collar bona fides one night by knocking down a shot of whiskey, then taking a mug of beer as a chaser. Obama went bowling in his attempt to win over working-class voters."



..and you people wonder why Hillary is my numero uno biotch.

do it, ese.

If you're a chick who likes delicate, pretty songs by women who have great singing skills then--


Download anything by Sia. Particularly her CD "Some People Have Real Problems"...or her song "Breathe Me"....youtube her or something.

You're welcome.

Mortality

Saying that i got drunk this weekend would be a huge understatement. i drank booze like it was going out of style. i was what jenelle referred to as a "festival whore". i can't help it if it was Earth Day on Saturday and the 707 wanted to celebrate that fact in a big way..i was right there with the 707 screaming at the top of our lungs

"Planet mother-fuckin' Earth...THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!!"

i had some of the greatest pictures imagineable from this weekend. Unfortunately, my drunk friend accidentally deleted every single picture saved on my camera *around 200*..about 50 of those pictures were ones i was going to save onto my computer, they were from my dad's vacation to Mexico. He is going to kill me. Therefore i will have to recall the events of Saturday via memory.

So Friday night Audra and i found ourselves together and bored...never-ever-a good combination. We ended up at the Marin Headlands.

It is easily one of the most beautiful places in California to be. The foghorns. The lighthouse. The waves crashing along the cliffs that you walk along. We took some friends up there that had never been. It's a truly wonderful thing to experience with people who have never seen it before. The next day i had to be up at seven ante-meridiem. It was pretty damn painful. i was volunteering at the Fairfield Earth Day Festival. Now before you start snickering at the fact that i have officially become a granola-eating weirdo, understand that i did it to get extra credit for my enviromental science class. i got a sweet t-shirt made up of recycled materials that reads "earth day every day" over a picture of a sun, a wave, and a leaf. i'm totally wearing it to my lab class on wednesday along with a couple of my other classmates. yes we're dorks..and no, we don't care. After that i jammed over to Vacaville to celebrate Earth Day with the "insert name for people living alternative lifestyles here". Yes, i am speaking of the Medieval Day Festival. Foolishly i drank too much beer and sipped on a friends wine. Made my way back to my resident lesbian friend's house and experienced much merriment. Complete with tinkering away on a drum set, electric and acoustic guitars, many shots of tequila, puking in kitchen sinks, dancing to "Stray Cats", smashing of glass bottles, penises being flashed...you know..the usual shit that goes down at friendly gatherings. i spent all day Sunday trying desperately to recuperate. You know that conversation your body has with your brain when it tries to convince it that vomiting is a great idea? But your brain resists this novel idea, thinking about the retching and feeling of heaving..."naw way man, that would just suck way too damn much!" So you settle for a nap. Wake from the nap and wander around in a haze trying to figure out if you feel better....you sit on the couch and say hi to whoever is plopped on the recliner next to you watching "Cops" re-runs...then..you get a hot flash and hear "womp womp womp!" beating in your head and your stomach does circles....dammit. You are not in fact, better. You vow never to drink ever again. You lay down and spoon with a pillow, make pacts with a god you don't fully believe in...please. please. please....make it stop. You think about drinking a beer or two.."hair of the dog" you think.. Ugh. It simply hurts everything all the way down to your soul to even slightly entertain the possibility of drinking anything containing a hint of alcohol. Your friend laughs at you as she sips a beer, "Hah! and you call yourself a drinker!"

Shame.

Dammit. You take everything that comes your way. You deserve it. Well, your aching body feels as though you deserve it all. You agree with their proclamations of lameness. Then you pass out on the couch.

Ahh...hangovers. The reminder to all of us that we are in fact, mortal.

para su informacion..

i am obsessed with postsecret.com..i have been for years and years...here are some notables.

Nothing exceeds like excess.

i watched "Scarface" today. Don't hate me but it was the first time i ever did so see it. It was of course a hella good movie...i was hoping he was gonna screw his sister though..i think it would have taken the movie to a whole'nother realm. Meh...

i just thought this was too damn funny...

the art of creation.

One of the coolest things about myself that i feel no one knows about is the keen knowledge i have about building things. i was blessed by being the daughter of a carpenter (that sounded all too religious....would you believe me if i told you that my father has a freakish likeness to that of jesus as well??). i was driving nails into walls by the tender age of six and roofing houses by 12. i was comfortable working around power saws and generators since as long as i can remember; and had my own tool belt since i popped out of the womb. i know the difference between phillips and flat heads (and can make either work). i love the smell and feel of dirt on my hands, and know that you can't pour concrete if there is even a .8% chance of rain. i can use a level and then snap a chalk line onto the perfectly straight line that i drew out in my brain. i used to do my homework with carpenters pencils, and still love the way the lead feels on wood. i know how to drill in a screw without stripping it. i feel completely comfortable amongst the sharpest of blades that are buzzing faster than i could ever imagine. It is honestly one of my most favorite things about myself. Someday when i get married i hope to receive for christmas (or valentines day, or an anniversary, or my birthday...) a power drill. They are by far my most favorite of tools. My father taught me all of these things and i feel genuinely special because of it. He used to drive my sister and i around towns and point to things and squeal in delight

"look babies!! your daddy built that! that will be there for a very long time...long after i'm dead."

my sister and i would roll our eyes in annoyance, we were probably hungry and on our way to taco bell or the mall. i think about these moments now and experience a tremendous feeling of sorrow. i cannot believe that i would not find myself in a sense of awe that my father built something that people use everyday and will long outlive him and me. The art of creation is something that not many people possess. i doubt i will ever find the right time to tell my father this...but i wish i could. i cannot remember the last time he showed me something he built. i want him to.


Maybe i'll ask him to take me for a drive one day soon, to show me something he has made with his own hands. Something that will be there long after he is gone.

told you he looked like jesus.

i'm such a schmuck

So i finally wrote the note that i'm going to give the kids on Saturday...it still needs some tweaking...this is my first draft. i totally cried *just once* while writing it..MEH!!


To all "A" and "B" guard members,


In regards to today's championships performance...

Understand that those few fleeting minutes are yours and yours alone to keep. No one will ever be able to take them away from you. You will remember them for the rest of your lives. It is something truly special, and something that is to be held seperate from everything else in this world. Something to be awed and inspired by. The feelings that you will experience in this activity are unlike anything. What you are doing when you step on that floor is creating art. Beautiful, thought provoking art. It moves people. It makes them want to be a part of something this special somewhere in their own lives. Words cannot describe how proud of each and every one of you we all are. When you step out on the floor today, give yourselves a second to breathe in the moment that you are in. Close your eyes, breathe in all the way down to your toes and listen to the sounds you hear. Take in the smells, the temperature, everything that can possibly be realized. Do this to create a place in your brain that you can go back to someday. You owe that to yourselves. To be able to go back to that moment in time. You need this because you must know that you will never be there ever again. This is not something to be sad about, it it moreso something to find beautiful. The poetic nature of finality is funny like that. You must never in your lives be sad about it, only happy that you had the opportunity to be a part of something that is bigger than you. We love you all, know this...and never doubt it. You are special and worth so much. Have no regrets after today. Go out there and leave everything you have on the floor, it's where it belongs.

Look at the sky, it's the colour of love.

So i'm currently drinking a glass of cabernet sauvignon and listening to Sade. Complete and total bliss. i'm currently going through withdrawals...and i'm not sure what of. There is something missing right now. A missing piece. A feeling that isn't here. i don't know if it's a person, thing, or event; but i feel unfufilled right now. Something to ponder i suppose.

i watched a movie two days ago...it was a bad film to view in the state that i was in. Let's just say that it hit a little too close to home. It's called "The Science of Sleep" and it stars the beautiful Gael Garcia Bernal, who Jenelle got me hooked on something fierce. He is brilliant in the movie as Stephane..here is a clip of one of his dream sequences.

"Coffee, at ten o'clock at night?!" - Jordan

Bombed my math exam. Got a "D" ...












F
















U












C












K












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i made myself a GIGANTIC cup of coffee because i was totally fried. it didn't help. wonderful.



























i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.
i hate being me.i hate being me.i hate being me.


!!!!!!!!!!





i'm going to go and wallow in my self pity. even though i deserve no pity, being that i yet again brought this upon myself. dammit dammit dammit!! now i'm wired from the coffee, maybe i'll write some new exercises for army-joe. Besh.